Sleepytime Me is the one who wakes up in the middle of the night and turns off my alarm--which requires typing the password into my phone, selecting the Clock app, and turning off the one alarm that has been selected. This isn't some accidental fumbling in the dark--Sleepytime Me is totally aware of what she is doing. She thinks, "Ugh, I'm so sleepy. I just want to sleep forever!!!!" I guess it's her way of trying to take over the body we share.
And she doesn't let me waking up stop her. When I'm still groggy, she's still the boss. In her last moments of control (you know, pre-coffee), she packs cheese and pizza for lunch (I'm not talking cheese pizza. Cheese AND pizza, like two separate things.), and dresses me like a deranged toddler. When I finally come to, which is usually when I'm driving to work, I realize that I haven't even brushed my teeth, let alone gone running or made a salad or whatever lofty goal I set for myself the night before.
I mean, seriously, what the hell am I wearing today? I have on gray leggings, an elastic waist skirt that is stained AND wrinkled (how the hell did I manage to wrinkle a skirt made out of sweatshirt?), and clogs. This is all Sleepytime Me's fault.
But taking a picture of myself in the bathroom at work and then almost getting caught doing it by my boss? Yeah, that's on me.
I dunno... It kind of works, you know... And you could always just call it "Mommy Brain". That seems to work at least until kids are graduated from high school.
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