When Crafting Goes TOO FAR

Would I describe myself as a "crafty" person? I always chose to take art class over music in school, the arts & crafts cabin over the archery range at camp. I owned a yarn store for five years, worked in one for almost ten. When I was a teenager, I made some of my clothes--if on my own, I resorted to bad hand sewing/stitch witch fabric glue/duct tape; if Cindy helped (aka did everything for me), we'd bust out the sewing machine and I'd get a shift dress out of the tackiest Wal-Mart fabric (chickens, John Deere tractors, Coke bottles). I once spent a month gluing sequins onto a pair Mary Janes while sitting in front of the TV. Almost twenty years later, I can't think of anything better than knitting and binging a whole season of an amazing TV show (and by amazing, I also mean "terrible C-dub teen drama.")

But there's a line. When I need more maternity clothes, it's perfectly reasonable to think knitting this sweater is an actual solution to my immediate problem.

(Aidez, a free Berroco pattern) 

Then there is Valentine's Day and the insane projects I keep seeing on all the mommy blogs. Sure, making yarn hearts with your kid looks fun and easy. 

(Yarn Hearts from Mom Filter)

But hand drawn monogram bags? Tree Heart Installation? Valentines that require Photoshop and special Japanese stationary...for children? I mean, who is the the adult who spends weeks making bags for candy, when candy already comes in containers, and when the whole point is THE CANDY? Who is the mother who has all this time and energy to pour into crafting 20-something beautiful and intricate valentines for their seven year old to bring to school, only for the other children to rip the candy off and throw it away? 

It's definitely not me. I plan on getting MH a shiny heart balloon and some candy, because I can't think of anything that a two year old wants more than a shiny balloon and candy. And if her class is exchanging valentines, then we're going to Walgreens and getting the box o' 'tines. Most likely Curious George, Yo Gabba Gabba, or robots. Or whatever isn't Barbie/Princess themed. AND DONE.

I don't have time for handcrafted valentine nonsense. I have a cable sweater to knit.