Monday, February 11, 2013
More Important Than the Pope
I heard on the radio this morning that the Pope is resigning. This is BIG NEWS because it hasn't happened since the 15th century when popes were, I don't know, important.
So I'm driving and my first thought is, "Great. We'll have to choose another pope. That means sitting around waiting for the different colored smoke to come out of the chimney." (You know, as if I was really part of this process at all.)
But then I realized, "Oh, wait. That's not my memory. That was a scene from the last DaVinci Code movie." You remember, the one where [SPOILER ALERT] Ewan McGregor played the evil priest. I don't remember anything else about this movie, but I'm pretty sure that since it was Ewan McGregor and he was an evil priest, he probably showed his penis a lot.
Anyway, this old white man who insists that you don't use birth control is going to be replaced by another old (probably white) man that you also won't listen to either. So, continue to go about your day.
BUT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE POPE, is this: I'm going to the Holy Grale tonight with a friend and I'm pretty sure I should order a beer. I even wore clothes that make me look just fat/probably not pregnant. I know that the "no alcohol while pregnant" thing should be pretty clear cut, but it's not. My doctor says, "Oh, you shouldn't drink at all, but really, no more than three drinks a week." There's a pretty big difference between none at all, ever, and three drinks a week (which, if I'm recovering my fourth grade DARE brainwashing accurately, means you are an alcoholic, so you should spend the week counting up the glasses of wine your mom has and then remind her that she had FIVE which is more than THREE, so she should go to rehab immediately.)
Anyway, I'm probably going to do it, but I'm also going to order one of those insane burgers they do and I'm pretty sure that the insanity of the burger will absorb all of the alcohol because that's how food/alcohol works.